Are your users like dinosaurs—sleeping records in your database? And are you afraid to wake them by reaching out?

A few days ago, I completed what felt like a full-scale IT migration project: switching my mother’s bank account from a paid model to a free one — with the same bank (one with three letters).

She is 85, lives in a small village and depends on her local branch for cash withdrawals. She’s been a customer for over 60 years. Over time, her account accumulated fees here and there — while competitors began offering free options. A few months ago, her bank finally introduced free accounts as well (presumably due to the merger with the “two-letter” bank that already offered them).

Sounds promising. But instead of converting her existing account, we had to open an entirely new one — and rebuild everything from scratch: standing orders, eBills, social security payments, insurance deductions. There was no upgrade path, no automatic porting, no migration tool. Just manual labour — wrapped in banking regulation, compliance, and legacy IT systems.

Note: Some of you dear readers might argue now, if it’s free then why shall a bank invest into the user? I will reply, what if the competitor does and starts targeting these users with their wealth?

The final step required calling the back office. After confirming both her and my identity, a patient woman on the other end said: “Everything is now settled.”

I hung up — relieved, but also strangely annoyed. Why did this feel like such an effort? Why did it fall on us to do all the work? Why was there no recognition that this was the same person, the same customer, with the same bank, only trying to move with the times?

And then it hit me: this isn’t about one bank. This is about how most companies treat long-time users — not as people in motion, but as sleeping records in a database.

Welcome, goodbye, and nothing in between

When you become a customer, companies roll out the red carpet: onboarding journeys, welcome messages, smooth first-use experiences. When you leave, they launch exit surveys, discounts, and win-back campaigns.

But in the long middle — the months and years when you actually use the product?

Silence.

No one asks why you’re still here. No one checks how your needs have changed. No one learns how you’ve adapted to their limitations.

And yet, this is where the real relationship lives — in high-frequency, high-emotion moments. Especially in banking, those moments range from:

Tapping your phone to pay having coffee with your new love
Postponing a payment during a tight month
Applying for a loan after your baby is born
Contributing to your kids room rent during their study time
Setting up a standing order for a parent’s care home
Paying the open bills after one of your parents dies

Everyday, high-frequency front-end interactions. Deep, emotional life events. Still — most banks behave like you don’t exist in their back-end until you either join or leave. Other industries would be thrilled to get that many touch-points per day.

Where the real relationship lives

In my mother’s case, this wasn’t just a technical process. It was emotional.
Her bank account isn’t just a financial tool — it’s a connection to life stability, routine, and trust after my dad passed away managing all financials.

And that’s exactly the point: the relationship doesn’t live in the moments you join or cancel. It lives in the middle. In the thousands of small, quiet interactions.

From the company’s point of view, these are transactions.
But from the user’s perspective, they’re life moments.

Full of meaning, friction, trust — and clues.

Companies over-invest at the edges and underinvest in the core

Let’s map this out:

The paradox: The core is where most value is created. It’s where revenue happens. It’s where loyalty is earned. It’s where unmet needs quietly accumulate.

And yet, companies treat these users as “settled” — or worse, invisible. Pssst...don't wake the beast up.

Why?

Because the silent majority doesn’t complain. They find workarounds. They adapt. They tolerate friction — until they don’t.

Maybe companies fear waking a sleeping dinosaur (yes, it really does feel like they’d rather speak to the head and tail of the dinosaur than the whole thing). Maybe they assume that if users aren’t leaving, everything is fine.

But if you don’t understand why people stay, how can you build a future they want to be part of?

The most ignored segment: your long-time users

These are the users who’ve stuck around.
They’ve seen every version of your product.
They’ve adapted, patched, tolerated.
They’ve learned what your help pages never say.

And yet, most companies never speak to them. Never ask how they use the product today. Never wonder how they make it work — despite the gaps.

Instead, we treat them as settled. As “retained.” As done.

But here’s the paradox:

The middle is where the value happens — but it’s also where the fewest insights are gathered.

Because the middle is quiet.
Because the middle doesn’t raise tickets.
Because the middle coping feels like satisfaction — until it isn’t.

What this means for product teams and service designers

If you’re building products or running services, ask yourself:

Do we actually know how our long-time users interact with the product today?
When was the last time we spoke to someone who joined five years ago?
Have we ever mapped their workarounds — not just our features?
Are we listening for friction where there is no complaint?

Because staying isn’t the absence of motion. It’s a different kind of motion. One that’s slower, less visible, but just as rich in signal.

In Jobs to be Done terms

Companies study why you “hire” or “fire” their service — but rarely why you keep showing up again and again.

That’s a problem. Because your most valuable users — those who quietly rely on you every day — often hold the deepest insights. They’ve seen your service evolve, break, improve, and adapt. But no one asks them.

A small story, a larger truth

Switching my mother’s bank account was frustrating — but it gave me a clearer view of a larger truth:

If switching a basic account feels like a full-blown migration, something is broken.
If no one asks why you’ve stayed for 60 years, that’s not loyalty — that’s inertia.
If your product team never talks to your quiet users, you’re missing your most honest feedback loop.

We design for the beginning and the end. But we live — and build value — in the middle.

What about you?

When was the last time a company asked how, where, and when you actually use their product — not just why you signed up?

What silent frictions have you tolerated?

And if you build things: when did you last talk to your most invisible, most consistent users?

They might not have the loudest voice. But they probably have the most important things to say.

Thanks for reading INNOVATION&! Does this article inspire and create value for people you know?

PS: Stuck with this topic and need hands-on help?

You can book me for workshops, keynotes, or one-on-one sparring – Let’s talk.

The Quiet Middle: Why Companies Overlook the…